How the Darkness Uses Good “Conscious” People

How the Darkness Uses Good Conscious People

By Goddess Incarnate Kim Macy

It’s heart-breaking to witness and I wonder if it will always surprise me…People I love, spirits shining so brightly through the vessel of the physical body, suddenly taking a turn toward ugliness. Every time it happens, I ask myself if it will ever cease to amaze me. As I deepen into the increasing awareness of what I am and how I choose to walk in the world, I realize that I am a spiritually, emotionally mature Divine Child. An Innocent. I remember my sweet Brother Bear saying it to me one time after a sweat lodge ceremony we facilitated. “You have the heart of an Innocent.” I hadn’t realized it. You know how you’re just walking along, living your life, and someone reflects something back to you and you’re like, “Who me? Really?” As someone who serves my heart and the Love on the planet and in the Multiverse, I walk with most certain humility. I am very confident, yes, and also eternally humble as I bow before the brilliance and the beauty of this sweet Blue Planet and the miracle of my own body. I love singing “How Great Thou Art!” at the top of my lungs in the shower and the yard! So when my brother shared that with me, it was during a time when I had been very hard on myself and extremely critical. This was several years ago before I understood how the Darkness turns us against our own selves and others.

Be careful with the quiet inner shredding of the self, the endless “not good enough.” Also beware of the inflated version of the self that is rooted in false perceptions and ultimately leads to your own delusions. We are already in a world of total Illusion, a Diversion from the Truth of What We Are and what we are doing here. The last thing you need is to be delusional within the illusional!!

I encourage all who are reading this to drop into your hearts right now. Breathe in and out, an awareness growing of the lovely emerald green glow emanating from your Heart Center. It’s easy. Don’t make it hard or wonder if you are doing it right. Then plug into the Beauty of this Good Green Earth, taking in the sunshine and breathing it like liquid Love into your body. If you’re reading this at night, search the sky for stars, moon, planets. Light reflects the core of who you are.

Since I moved to Kansas City from Austin, Texas in 1997, I have been adjusting. At first I thought it was the obvious difference between Texans and Midwesterners. I thought people were so rude! In Texas, I never met a stranger. Out here, I learned to pull my energy in and not look for connection with strangers. Now, almost 20 years later, I understand that the people of the Heartland are kind, they just don’t always open right away. That’s a whole other story! I couldn’t figure out what was going on with the people. Because I was 23, I was still in the Cocoon of Love my family and my hometown wrapped me in all my life. I trusted everyone. I believed everyone when they told me who they were and what they were about. What a shock to my system when I discovered the bullshit! Is this a part of aging? Is this the path of eradicating my own ignorance and blind trust of others? I know these experiences taught me to discern fact from fiction, fake people and false prophets. I was so blessed to meet legit people during this time as well. But the amount of bullshit was astounding!

Currently, there is an energy moving through my personal awareness around holding people accountable. In the spiritual community, there is a plague of Spiritual Bypassing. For more on this topic, please do yourself a favor and read Spiritual Bypassing by Robert Augustus Masters. Somehow, people are validating the breach of commitment, the lack of their own integrity, violating their own word and signed agreements in favor of doing whatever they want, even as it harms a woman, a Priestess, a Lover, her family and her children. I don’t know how they reconcile it within themselves and have come to the conclusion that it is Personal Delusion Within the Illusion.

The Illusion itself is thick and deep within the consciousness of Earth School. It’s part of the journey. But keeping your wits about you in the Dark Night of the Soul, in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, takes great skill and determination to live according to integrity and honesty. It’s quite simple: If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. If I commit to participating or contributing, I do it. I follow through. My word is my bond and I take it very seriously. I don’t dick around with my own bullshit of “I don’t wanna, I’m tired, I wanna do something else.” That’s why I take my commitments so seriously. Because I will NOT go back on them.

I’m aware that the Darkness LOVES greed, loves jealousy, loves it when you compare yourself to others and find them lacking and “not good enough”. Oh it just DELIGHTS in that shit! This is different from discerning fact from fiction, from operating from your Heart Center, in alignment with your Soul Self outside of the Illusion of this earthly realm. I love unconditionally with very clear boundaries. I never act from a place of lack or loathing. I can get hurt, betrayed, my trust can be violated and even then, I see the other person’s point of view. But that doesn’t mean that just because I understand their skewed perception of “reality” that I do not hold them accountable. It’s like my Mama always told me as a child: “I love you baby, but you just can’t act like that.”

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My Sweet Mommy and Big Brother Loving Me

To those who have brought harm to themselves by treating others cruelly and with selfishness, greed and jealousy, I feel sad for you. You forgot the Love. You got trapped in the Illusion. You reap what you sow and there is a massive Boomerang Effect on this planet. What you send out, you get back. Period. Sure, experiences come into our awareness that might test whether or not we value ourselves and provide us with the opportunity to stand up for ourselves. All Good will come from that. But if your heart is not in the right place, it will be no secret. It will be obvious to those who are Awake enough to see and hear. And you can only hide from yourself for so long. That emptiness, that void, that sense that something isn’t quite right, that inability to be content or happy, peace-filled and calm even though technically everything is just “fine” in your world, that will haunt you in the most quiet moments. And then what? You have to deal with You. Good luck! Lemme know if I can help. (Learn more here)

Make a decision today to stay focused on the Light Within. Don’t let the darkness fill your heart and cloud your mind. You all have Light at your Core. Expand it. Illuminate! Remember the Love. Love…with Boundaries.

 

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Temple of the Goddess Mystery School

What Are We Doing Here?

Temple of the Goddess Mystery School Facilitated by High Priestess Kim Macy

www.KimMacy.com (816) 510-4391  Kim@KimMacy.com

What exactly are we doing when we choose to participate in the Mystery School Process?

You are opening an Initiatory Portal for yourself, the circle, and the collective consciousness of women on Planet Earth. The work that you do to evolve your spirit, awaken the fullness of your gifts, and claim your Feminine Power and Inner Authority sends waves of AWAKENESS into the hearts of humanity. We do this inner work, we go on this Lunar Initiation Cycle for our personal selves, understanding that As Above, So Below, As Within, So Without, As the Universe, So the Soul (Hermes Trigmegistus) principles apply to this work. When we do spiritual work on the microcosmic level, it positively impacts the macrocosmic reality.

You are a Priestess-in-Training, an Initiate. Fulfillment of the year-and-a-day journey may result in your ability to claim the title of Priestess. Please see “What is a Priestess?” for details. I encourage you to explore what you feel about the word Priestess. What does it mean for you? What image or feeling does it evoke within you? Can you put words to it?

The Container

The Container held for the initiates is woven in this dimension of reality with a link to the ethereal realms and the support of Source as expressed as God and Goddess, angels, Spirit Guides, the Star Family, our wayebs, as well as the magic held within the realm of Mother Earth, connected to the Circles of Stone, energetic ley lines, our animal medicine and animal guides, the Standing People (trees), our ancestral lineage in this life and all other lifetimes, the crystal layer, the sweet flowing waters of earth, the plant nation, the realm of fairies and unicorns, the deepest magic woven into the layers of multi-dimensional reality here on Earth as it was, as it is and as it always will be. We connect with the truth of Atlantis and Lemuria. We honor Turtle Island, the Mother of Us All. High Priestess Kim holds this container along with the support of physical and nonphysical support including my husband, the Living Buddha John Paul Macy, my mother Laurel Crow, my brother Jeremy Crow, Priestess Sister and Keeper of the Labyrinth Toby Evans, the Priestess Lineage of Nicole Christine, Creatrix of the Priestess Process and the Priestesses who have walked before you, and the prayerful support of the Silent Unity Prayer Team. Ethereal support not currently in body includes my maternal grandmother “MeMa”Annabelle Siler, my father David Towers Oursler, my mentor Jeanette Schoenlaub-Jackson, my healer Santa Marie, my teacher Chief Phil CrazyBull and the Star Nation, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Jesus Christ, my Orisha parents Mama Oshun, Papa Ellegua, Father Obatala, the Golden Light Beings, the Hathors, the Pleiadians and the Arcturians.

Soul Contract

I believe that those of us who are called to this work are under Soul Contract to come together in this way, at this time, with this specific group. It is an agreement we made before we incarnated on Planet Earth. Each spirit walking on the planet right now carries within them unique Light Codes that are specific to each person. These Light Codes are a very active part of our Divine Nature as only we can express them. They are as unique as a fingerprint and throughout this process, we intend to hold space for you to activate your own Light Codes within a supportive circle of Light Workers while in this powerful portal that is the Temple of the Goddess Mystery School. For you to have felt called to this circle, you already know there is something very special within your spirit that is a brilliant contribution to the Cosmic Consciousness during this time of the Great Shift. We encourage you to celebrate your Light Code Activation through the process of acknowledging, blessing, and releasing any obstacles to the full expression of your spirit.

What’s going to happen?

Although there is a specific structure to the Mystery School experience, I never know how each circle will unfold. That’s why it’s a Mystery! Components of the Year One experience include:

  • Commitment, Intention, and Initiation-You will set personal Intention by writing an Intention Statement and ceremonially activating it in our Initiation Ritual. You will also make a physical representation of your Intention Statement that you will share with the circle. Use your imagination and your creativity! When I went through Awakening the Millennium Priestess Process, I made a vestment “scarf” featuring my owl medicine, snake medicine, butterfly energy and moon magic.
  • Clearing the Path Ceremony-You and your circle will physically and symbolically clear anything you are carrying that would inhibit your ability to claim your full power.
  • Blood Mysteries Rite of Passage-We will co-create a ceremony honoring our Moon Cycle and welcome each other into the magical realm of the Blood Mysteries of Women.
  • Telling Our Stories-Each initiate will write the story of her sacred journey to now, following the thread of the Hand of Spirit on their lives, guiding them to this present moment. You will share your story with the circle in a safe, sacred, supportive space. We will listen and we will be heard. The intent of the storytelling is to integrate your personal journey, to explore your own Operating Manual you created in order to survive your life up to this point, begin understanding your coping mechanisms while bringing subconscious beliefs and actions to the conscious mind so that you can choose your personal beliefs and release that which no longer serves you or that which was programmed into you by your family of origin.  
  • Learn How to Create Living Ceremony-This includes connecting with Mother Gaea, Calling the 7 Directions, Becoming the Bridge between Heaven and Earth, directing the energy with Intention, when to do ceremony, and facilitating private, family, and public ceremony.
  • Energy and Your Energetic Field-You will learn Eden Energy Medicine Techniques, learn specific Grounding Techniques, How to Shield, Release, Anchor, Call the Energies, Receiving, Clearing and Directing Energy. Learn your Energetic Center Point and how to Strengthen Your Auric Field.
  • Shamanic Death Circle-You will create a Shamanic Death Ceremony with the circle and ritualistically “give death” to aspects of your story, your triggers, unwelcome patterns, and any beliefs that keep you disempowered, filled with lack and limitation.
  • Sacred ReBirth Day-You will all celebrate your Sacred ReBirth! Create a Magical Manifestation Map that illustrates the New Life you are calling in.
  • Shamanic Astrology Overview-I strongly recommend that each Initiate learn more about Shamanic Astrology through a private session with me if you have not already explored your Shamanic Astrology. We will have a circle focused on this work, however, we could spend the entire year studying our astrology charts and never learn everything there is to learn! Experts in this field nationally include Priestess Sister Cayelin Castell and my teacher and mentor Anyaa McAndrew. I would be happy to connect you with them and their work to deepen your understanding and further activate your chart. 
  • Sacred Marriage-You will discover your Inner Goddess and Inner God through your Shamanic Astrology Chart. Together, we will create the Sacred Marriage Ceremony by each Initiate writing vows in the voice of her God and Goddess aspects of self. We will bear witness to your union.
  • Emerge as Priestesses of the New Earth. What does it mean to hold all life as sacred? What does it mean to live as if the mundane is magical, as if the “normal” is mystical? We will activate personal and collective Visions of the New Earth and the world we are co-creating.

Private Sessions

Each Initiate and any Apprentices will schedule a minimum of four private, one-on-one sessions with Priestess Kim. Normal session fees apply. My schedule fills up quickly; we can begin scheduling now to insure a day and time that works best. It is each Initiate’s/Apprentice’s responsibility to seek me out to schedule. In addition, if I notice an area of opportunity that requires individual deep work, I may call or text you to schedule a private session outside of the three required sessions. You may also decide you would like to schedule something with me if you are getting stuck, feeling confused, experiencing blocks, or struggling with another member of the circle. All Initiates and Apprentices agree to work out any personal issues outside of circle to maintain the high vibration of the circle’s energetic field. If two Initiates need to meet together with Priestess Kim, they will share the session cost.   

 What Are We Not Doing

We are not projecting our un-owned aspects of Self upon Priestess Kim or another member of the circle.

We are not criticizing each other silently, privately or publicly.

We are not giving into fear.

We are not acting in unconscious ways if we can help it.

We are not trying to “fix” another person.

We are not absorbing other people’s’ “schtuff” into our energetic bodies or our physical bodies.

We are not allowing our empathic nature to pull us off center, pull us into despair, fall into depression.

We are not interrupting each other, finishing each other’s sentences, or hurrying to speak.

We are not allowing worldly distractions to interfere with our spiritual commitment to ourselves, our Great Mother, our High Priestess, our circle or our process of awakening and claiming our power.

We are not working with a hidden motive or secret agenda.

We are not betraying one another or ourselves.

We are not allowing our personal responsibilities to fall behind in favor of the spiritual experience.

We are not spiritual bypassing our lessons.

We are not making choices out of fear or lack.

We are not emotionally manipulating anyone at any time.

We are not speaking about what happens in the Mystery School circle experience except with our trusted allies and/or life partners.

Initiates are not seeking personal guidance through text, email or phone calls with Priestess Kim unless it has been scheduled and paid for. Personal processing is welcome through private sessions.

Reasons You May Not Be Allowed to Complete Mystery School

It is never my intention to ask an Initiate to leave the Mystery School but, much to my dismay, I have had to do it on occasion. If you are asked to leave and you did not pay your tuition in full, payment for all remaining circles will be due every month as if you are still in circle. Following is a limited list of reasons you may be asked to leave. It is not a complete list.

  • Performing “black” magic or magic with intent to harm.
  • Being consistently late to circle (three times) or asking to leave early more than two times.
  • Missing more than two circle days.
  • Unwillingness to address shadow with another in a healthy way and with Priestess Kim mediating, if necessary.
  • Not scheduling your private sessions with Priestess Kim.
  • Inability to process payment. Lack of payment.
  • Speaking negatively about the circle, the Mystery School, the experiences, or Priestess Kim.Trust me, I will feel it.
  • Avoiding Truth consistently. Denial of behaviors/actions that are detrimental to your process, to the circle, and/or to Priestess Kim.
  • Intentionally sending negative (dense, heavy, dark, stabby, icky) energy to circle, into the space, to others outside of circle, or toward Priestess Kim.
  • Slander of any sort.
  • Constantly being overwhelmed and unable to hold your own container for your personal process.
  • Inability to manage personal energy, magical energy, elemental energy, ethereal energy, and spiritual energy once tools and techniques have been taught, practiced and utilized.
  • Getting caught up over and over again in Illusion. Inability to differentiate between reality and fantasy.
  • Plagiarizing Temple of the Goddess Mystery School teachings, handouts, blog posts, email communication or writings of any sort.

 

My Commitment

I, High Priestess Kim Macy, commit to the Great Mystery. I commit to the path unfolding exactly as it should. I commit to understanding each Initiate’s personal Mystery and my own, knowing that it will be in exact Divine Timing. I commit to the secrets my own Mystery School wishes to share with me. I commit to being receptive to all opportunities for healing. I commit to being open to what is hidden in the shadow, understanding that the shadow carries the keys to unlocking even more light. I commit to shining a light into the “blind spots” so that each person can recover/uncover their true Soul Essence. I commit to working with all divine messages and to activating deep healing for the spirit. I commit to connecting with that infinite and eternal space within my spirit and your spirit that holds all memory, all knowledge, all record of past, present, and future. I listen and receive all messages from the spirit-self. I commit to my sisters travelling this Earth Path with us. I am gentle with myself and other women, men and children.

My Intention

I, High Priestess Kim Macy, live as the embodiment of the Divine Feminine essence, perfectly balanced with the Divine Masculine essence of Love, Strength, Peace, Wisdom, Joy, Euphoria, Bliss, and Power as uniquely expressed through this body, this vessel, this vibration. I share wisdom gained through multiple incarnations, from all dimensions of reality, laser focused in this time and space to assist the evolution of the human consciousness. I intend to teach everything I know to those willing and able to receive the lessons. I intend to Initiate Priestesses in my lineage who are worthy of the title of Priestess and ready to serve in their unique capacity, to the best of their ability, in whatever way they are called to serve.  I intend to create a web of wo(men) who radiate their brilliant soul light in a powerful grid of Light Workers all across this planet, many centered here in the Heartland. I intend to listen deeply, to listen for truth, to help identify soul wounds and opportunities for growth in a loving, supportive, compassionate way. I intend to bestow life lessons in such a way that is most beneficial to the recipient. I intend to use humor and honor my path as Trickster/Heyoka as I teach dance laugh my way through life. I intend to let you in on the Cosmic Joke. I intend to live as my FULL self, with complete access to all my intuitive gifts and healing abilities as I serve the people of Earth as spiritual midwife to the consciousness. I intend to serve as Record Keeper for this process and transform my direct experiences into books, online guidance, blog posts, classes, workshops, and training opportunities for others. I affirm my ever-flowing abundance of resources, wisdom, connections, friendships, helpers, creative teams, magical medicine, healing remedies, family ties, practical application of spiritual wisdom, opportunities to collaborate, teach and share, while accepting my position and platform as a world-renowned spiritual teacher and guide.  And So It Is! Ashe! Blessed Be! Amamma!

 

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Guidelines for Sessions with Priestess Kim

I am available by appointment only for Spiritual Counseling Sessions in person in the Kansas City area or available nationally and internationally via FaceTime, phone, or video conference. Please contact me anytime, day or night,  through text or call (816) 510-4391.

  • Listen.
  • Ask questions.
  • Be ready to do your own work.
  • Know why you are seeking a session with me. Set your Intention prior to the session so that we make the best use of our time together.
  • Research my website www.KimMacy.com so that you are aware of my services and offerings. You may also read blog posts and discover more about tools and techniques I have personally used to strengthen my relationship with my Spirit, Mother Earth, the Goddess, Feminine Power and the Divine Masculine.
  • Yes, I do clearings and blessings, Rites of Passage, rituals, and Ceremony. I make magic. I manifest. Do not ask me to curse or hex. It is disrespectful to me and my craft.
  • I prefer to work in my office as it is a Vortex of Healing and the space has only every been used for spiritual growth and connection with our Inner Source and the idea of the Outer Source.
  • I am available for phone consultations via Facetime or Zoom conference if you know how to set it up. The same fees apply.
  • I am a Priestess dedicated to my Sacred Work which is to Serve the Souls of the People of Earth. You and your human self may not like what I have to say as I am not here to support your personal illusions, limitations, manipulation of self or others. If you are not ready to hear truth, do not make an appointment with me.
  • I am a spiritual counselor, an ordained Madonna Minister, a medicine woman, herbalist, doula, spiritual midwife, Green Witch, and Walker Between Worlds. I can access any time on the Time-Space Continuum that has existed or is in existence now. This means that “past” lives, incarnations on other planets within other galaxies, forms other than human may show up in your session.
  • I am not a licensed counselor. For information on my spiritual training, professional experience, and education background, please visit my blog and look for my resume.  
  • I work with a powerful network of healers, doctors, licensed counselors, spiritual guides, and holistic health care providers. Every issue in the human experience, whether physical, mental, or emotional comes from a Spiritual Root. It is my job to discover the root cause and address it for healing and/or refer you out to a qualified professional in our area. I am also connected nationally with powerful healers, women leaders, and spiritual masters who may be available to help you depending on the situation.
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Shamanic Death

                                  Temple of the Goddess Mystery School Teachings                                 by High Priestess Kim Macy

Kim@KimMacy.com (816) 510-4391

Shamanic Death

We develop our beliefs about who we are and what we can create our world to be based on our life experiences. Going even further into our connections, much of what we absorb from our parents and family informs who we are today. The question is: How much of your current “Operating Manual for Life” comes from your family of origin and how much is your own? Now that you have told your life story and embraced the work that comes along with this life review, it is time for Shamanic Death.

 

Shamanic Death is the process of consciously choosing to let go of what no longer serves the expansion of your spirit. Rather than be bound by fears and limitations of your path, you can literally free yourself of the burdens you carry.

 

Becoming Aware

Self-awareness is a gift that offers so much peace and clarity to life. To become self-aware, you must ask yourself:

  • Why do I do the things I do?
  • Where am I still hurting?
  • Where do I hold grief and why?
  • What do I long for but never ask to receive?
  • What are my coping mechanisms?
  • What triggers my pain? Anger? Sadness?
  • Where do my triggers originate?
  • What was my original wound?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What makes me feel safe?
  • What makes me feel calm?
  • What makes me feel like I belong?
  • What makes me feel loved?
  • What do I need right now?

 

I have noticed that the more I tune in to why I am emotionally triggered, the more I am able to integrate that part of my spirit that is longing for my attention. Emotional triggers like anger, fear, feeling left out, feeling abandoned, not having enough, etc. all point to some aspect of yourself that needs acceptance and love. An example of this is my past relationship with money. I had to identify that I developed fear around money based on the relationship my mother had with money. I remember as a child watching her “DO THE BILLS”. This involved the command-”Hush! I’m doing the bills!” followed by silence in the house, stacks of envelopes and bills spread out on the dining table along with her checkbook and adding machine. My mother who normally was happy and laughing, became super serious when it was time to do the bills.

 

I lived on my own at 17 and always seemed to have money. I had money for whatever I needed. I discovered I was better with cash than I was with a checkbook so every paycheck, I went to the check-cashing place and divided my money into money orders for specific bills, cash for “living” money and cash for savings that went into an envelope in a drawer in the kitchen. This worked very well for me until I became a mom. Suddenly, we never seemed to have money. And sitting down to “do the bills” evoked that same tension in my home that I remembered from childhood. For years, I got caught up in this cycle until I went through the High Priestess Process of the Magdalene Mysteries. Our facilitator, Anyaa McAndrew, had a book called Money is Love on her recommended book list. The very title pissed me off! Money is love? Bah! Money is the root of all evil was more like it. I had developed such a tense relationship with money and I realized it all stemmed from my mother’s fear around lack of money to support herself and her children after my father died. It was time for me to release fear around money that I developed in childhood, inherited from my mother.

 

Perhaps you can feel echoes of your past in your current life. Just as we engage in the traditions we learned in childhood like turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day, we carry on some traditions that are not supportive to the life we want to live now. What traditions are you carrying that are not your own? What is the voice of your mother or father and what is your own voice? What is the voice of your wound?

 

Identifying the Voice of Your Wound

My wound is Abandonment. It stems from the loss of my father at such a young age. It re-visits me in so many ways through so many different relationships. I didn’t want to be in romantic relationships with men because ultimately, I didn’t want to be abandoned again. Even in my loving marriage, I have observed a tendency to withdraw and pull away from his love when I need it the most. It is a practice to press into my wound and FEEL IT, then respond with what it needs. For me, the wounded part of myself needs acknowledgement and acceptance, not rejection.

 

In the past, I projected my wound onto my daughter’s relationship with her father. He was not involved in her life (my choice) for the first 3 years of her life. Even after he was introduced, he was never consistent. Finally, he committed to picking her up from school every Tuesday while I worked. One day, he didn’t pick her up. She waited and waited at the park for him, in the rain, and he never came. I was absolutely furious! I blasted him verbally over the phone and cut him out of our lives. The anger ate at me and ate at me until I finally looked at www.RadicalForgiveness.com and did the “Make Room for a Miracle” worksheet. Through the expert guidance of Colin Tipping, I was able to see that the anger I felt actually stemmed from my father’s death and feeling abandoned as a little girl. Sure, I was right to be angry and to set a boundary with her father. But to cut him completely out of her life and not even be willing to listen to what had happened on his end came from my own deep reserves of inner pain.

 

The Wounded Healer

Each of us incarnate with a specific life lesson we are meant to directly experience while here on Earth. The foundation of that life lesson is found in the Chiron placement in your astrological chart and is known as the “Soul Wound”. Your soul is perfect and divine; it is only the illusion of the EarthWalk and the physical limitations of the earth body that creates the sense of the wound. Although you may have been challenged in various ways throughout your life, if you bring focused awareness to those challenges, you can see how they correlate back to this single wound. It plays out in many ways, through many relationships and scenarios and is meant to give us an opportunity to create conscious understanding of this aspect of Self that is asking for our attention.

 

Many people ask, “Why is there such suffering on the planet?” I believe it is part of our spirit-selves directly experiencing these challenges and limits in order to ultimately return to the Divine Truth that Love, Understanding and Compassion is the foundation of all life. There is suffering, yes, but to consciously suffer and to acknowledge our inner suffering brings about great cleansing of the ego and helps us return to our true Spirit nature.

 

The challenges you have been through create the wisdom you carry. It is only through your own life experience that you truly know how to tend to your spirit, how to hold space for others, how to overcome these challenges in a way that is best for your spirit.  We gather our own sacred medicine through the struggle of life, through conquering our intense trials and surviving loss, pain, and suffering. By bringing conscious awareness to our times of greatest suffering, we burn through the illusions of the ego and clearly hear the voice of our spirits. This helps us build great inner strength and develop clarity around our personal truth.

 

Living from your Heart Center

Allow your inner knowing to surface. Breathe in and out through your heart center. Bring your awareness down into your heart, visualizing an emerald green light beginning to emanate from your heart. As you breathe, see the emerald green light grow and expand. Now ask yourself, “What am I ready to release?” Receive the answers as they come bubbling up to the surface. Have a pen and paper ready to free-write words of letting go. Do not edit what your heart tells you; simply write it down to consider later. This is an opportunity to clear your heart of all that you carry. It has a valuable message for you, yes, but it need not burden you with the weight of the message. You have the strength to become conscious of your heart’s burden and free yourself from it.

 

Shamanic Death Ceremony

Ritual and Ceremony anchor our deep, intense spiritual work in the Earth realm. Its draws matter to an idea and manifests thought into form. For your Shamanic Death Ceremony, you will need to create an altar that reflects the intent of the ritual. Some women choose a black altar cloth and red candles for transformation. You may wish to include images of animal totems to assist your transformation process. Represent all the elements on the altar so that you can transform the body (Earth), the mind (Air), the spirit (Fire), and the emotions (Water). As you give Shamanic Death, you may be releasing a pattern that has been in your family for generations. If so, have a picture of your family members who remind you of this pattern. Goddesses who assist with Change and the Death Process are Oya, Kali, Cerridwen, and Hecate to name a few. You might want to have images of these powerful Goddesses on your altar as well. Ask for their help in your process. Finally, place your Death Doll, representing all that you are letting go, on the altar until time to release her into the Cauldron of Transformation.

 

Making Your Death Doll

Prior to the day of the Shamanic Death Ceremony, you will make a Death Doll. Choose 100% cotton cloth and natural thread. Simply cut out the shape of a person-you may use a gingerbread “man” cookie cutter to trace the shape onto the fabric. You will need two of the shapes so you can sew them together. On small strips of paper, write statements of release. Examples:

I am letting go of pleasing others

I am letting go of feeling not good enough

I am letting go of the shame I felt from being molested as a child

I am letting go of the guilt I feel as a mother

I give death to fear around money

I give death to emotional chaos

I give death to closing my heart to others

I give death to blocking my magic

I give death to allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated

I give death to being out of my body and always in my head

I give death to feeling disconnected to the Divine

I give death to feeling powerless

I give death to not creating time for my spirit

 

As you sew the edges of the fabric together, imagine you are stitching all your fears, all your shame, all your lack, all your guilt into the doll. Leave a small opening to stuff the doll with the slips of paper. You may also wish to stuff her with batting or additional fabric. Sew her up.

 

Shamanic Death Statement

Write a statement you will share with your circle sisters. Each woman will read her statement out loud when it is her turn to burn her Death Doll in the Cauldron of Transformation. An example of this could be: On this day, I hereby give death to distrusting my vision. I now embrace the knowing that all resources are coming together to fully express my vision and my sacred work. I let go of fear around money and a sense of lack of time to offer my vision. I give death to not feeling “good enough” to do precisely what I came to this planet to do. I give death to my inner criticism that questions the wisdom I carry. I let go of what my mother will think of her Goddess-loving Priestess daughter. I now claim my full power and trust the fullness of my vision. And so it is!” You then burn your Death Doll, releasing all that you have been carrying as life’s burden.

 

Negotiating Your Contract with the Universe

As souls about to enter the Earth School, we set up certain challenges and patterns for ourselves designed to accelerate our learning process. Once we have become conscious of our patterns and triggers, perhaps we no longer need to repeat them. Then it is time to dissolve the Universal Contract and re-negotiate what lessons, challenges and opportunities your soul would now like to experience. I was able to see how I set up feeling let down or abandoned by men and I decided I no longer needed that as part of my life experience. I dissolved that aspect of my contract. I understand how the loss of supportive men early in my life pushed me to step into my own power and become my own authority figure. Fantastic! But now I wanted to experience what life could be like with a loving, supportive man by my side. You may want to include what you would like to dissolve in your original life contract in your Shamanic Death Statement.

 

Resistance and Fear

Do not be surprised if you find yourself regressing into old patterns and old coping mechanisms while going through the process of Shamanic Death. This is a normal and natural part of the process. As we clear artificial encodements and false messages, our ego is triggered into fierce protection mode. Our ego is that part of us that helps us function in the world and maintain whatever persona we have created to be accepted in society. The Shamanic Death process essentially rips apart the Operation Manual the ego created in order to manage Life. When we take that manual and deem it no longer effective, the ego may balk and use its favorite tool: Fear. The ego may whisper that it is not safe to do this work. It may make the process about someone else, even targeting others in your support circle. It may focus on criticism of the facilitator or even the process itself. Be aware of the messages you receive during this time, both the ones you deem positive and negative. Do what you can to continually turn the focus to YOU…your coping mechanisms, your triggers, your wound, your compensations for the wounded parts of self. You can support yourself through this process by tending to your Root Chakra. The Root Chakra color is red. The message of the Root Chakra is Foundation, the Fight or Flight Response, feeling safe, having physical needs met, connection with your body, connection with Mother Earth and connection with your “I Am” presence. Following are Ways You Can Support Your Root Chakra through Shamanic Death:

  • Wear red. Red panties, red pants, skirts, shirts, etc.
  • Use Rose Oil to annoint your Root Chakra.
  • Carry a Root Chakra stone-Hematite, Red Jasper, Garnet, Red Carnelian and Black Tourmaline.
  • Create a Root Chakra Altar with red candles, red roses, a picture of your empowered self, elements of earth and the Root Chakra stones.
  • Place one hand on the base of your spine, located at your tailbone and the other on your pubic bone. Say, “Even though I feel some fear and resistance, I completely and totally love and accept myself.” Breathe that truth into your body. You may also like to rub your heart chakra in a clockwise motion and repeat the statement.  

 

Ritual

As always, clear yourself and the circle by smudging or Holy Water. Set the Intention of the ceremony. Call the Directions. Light the candles on the altar. You will probably want to have the ritual fire outside. Be sure to take your Death Doll and Shamanic Death Statement with you. Each woman will step forward and proclaim what she is releasing, then burn the Death Doll in the cauldron. It would be lovely to have a heartbeat drum for this clearing. After every woman has given Shamanic Death, celebrate with dancing, laughter and music! Release the Directions. Open the circle.

 

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The Problem with Manifesting Your Reality

In 2004, a wonderful, powerful documentary titled “What the Bleep Do We Know?” emerged on the scene, combining quantum physics and spirituality while introducing the concept many mystics have always believed: Our Thoughts Create Our Reality. The film beautifully illustrated how the brain operates and how what we focus on tends to gather matter to it and manifest into physical reality. The New Age movement took off with this information and the public was hungry for more. The book, The Secret, came out in 2006, expanding on the teachings of Esther Hicks and channeled information from an energy known as Abraham. It promoted Ask, Believe, and Receive, encouraging readers to focus on the positive through a state of gratitude.

Here’s the problem: people are avoiding thoughts they view as negative in an attempt to stay in “love and light”, but it’s not authentic. Even worse, people are judging others if they have a “bad experience” and determining that they must have done something to draw it to themselves, therefore, they have failed in “thinking positively enough” and are somehow being punished by the Universe.

I call bullshit.

I’ve heard from so many people who try to catch themselves being “negative” and quickly shift into gratitude without acknowledging the actual hurt, pain, grief, despair, or disappointment they are feeling. We need to feel our feelings. Our feelings are our emotional guidance system that tell us if something is out of alignment for us. If we ignore them or gloss over them, we are missing important clues about our experience. This is called spiritual bypassing.

Spiritual Bypassing is “a term coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984 and is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.” (Robert Augustus Masters, PhD Spiritual Bypassing-When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters) Described as a “very persistent shadow of spirituality”, it is truly a numbing agent used to avoid pain or so-called negative feelings and emotions. Many who subscribe to an Attitude of Gratitude believe that they are somehow elevated in consciousness or more spiritual than others because they only think positive thoughts. This shows complete immaturity, a lack of true, grounded-in-the-body spiritual growth, and a tendency toward delusion.

This delusion is what brings us to our current state of reality. There were millions of us who imagined and totally believed in a very different reality than Trump being in office. I honestly thought I woke up in the wrong dimension on November 8, 2016. But all the positive thinking in the world couldn’t stop that train of horror. Working within the paradigms of the Earth realm requires physical action in alignment with our internal guidance. Now that we are faced with this version of reality, many spiritual people are avoiding the news, avoiding what is happening in our country because we are not equipped to deal with the “negative”.

I’ve been there. I became so sensitive, so raw, that I couldn’t handle the constant barrage of news. It seemed that each new terrible thing happening in the world affirmed my despair and reinforced the darkness of the world. It felt so heavy and insurmountable. I couldn’t avoid my own pain, my own broken heart. I made it through because the people in my life were able to hold space for my pain. They didn’t try to talk me out of it or invalidate my feelings or encourage me to “think positively”. I went deeper into my shadow. What was in there? What was it trying to tell me about myself? I was shown all the ways I withhold love from myself. I faced fears I didn’t even know I had. I went on a journey that was so internal, I couldn’t share the depth of the darkness with anyone.

I believe the purpose of the shadow time helped me clear obstacles to manifesting that I didn’t know were there. I believe we can manifest but we have to do it from a place of wholeness, not avoidance.

So how do we do it? We walk consciously in the world, attempting to create experiences we truly desire while embracing the magic of the Universe as we turn toward our personal pain, explore what hides in our shadow, and learn from challenging experiences. We’ve got to develop tools to deal with our pain, to learn from our pain, to value the negative as a powerful teacher. Instead of turning away from our fears, we must develop the courage to face them and learn from them. But we are not meant to do this alone. Having a supportive community of authentic people who are also embracing all that this life experience has to offer makes it much easier to head into our own fire.

We can expand beyond the limited confines of positive and negative and deem all experiences as valuable, meaningful, and divine. The Light and the dark. This allows us true freedom and authentic power.

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Conscious Communication

What is Conscious Communication? As we discuss relationships, how we relate to our family, friends, partners and co-workers, the first thing that comes up is COMMUNICATION. To communicate is to share ideas, thoughts, and feelings with another. Conscious communication is to be aware of how, what, and why you are communicating with another prior to having the conversation. It is absolutely necessary to stay conscious when we have to have those tough conversations that come up in every relationship, every family, every deep friendship, and every business.

How? Consider how you would like to communicate. Would you like to remain neutral? Are you passionate about your idea or vision? Are you emotionally connected to what you are saying? Do you want to be clear? Thinking about how we want to communicate can help us bring clarity to every interaction.

What? What exactly are we trying to say? Think about the end result of the conversation. What is the intention? Not knowing precisely what our intention is as we begin a challenging conversation can easily result in conflict. I like to answer it this way: “I will feel complete with the conversation as long as I am able to clearly convey __________.” It may be expressing how I feel or sharing my passion for a specific vision and asking for others to “buy in”. Regardless, setting Intent for your communication helps it become conscious.

Why? Why am I having this conversation? This is tied into the What? but different in that it answers the purpose of the communication whereas the What? dictates exactly what you want to say. The Why? answers why you want to say it.

When? Timing is everything. It is best to have challenging conversations face to face as this supports our connection with one another. But it’s not always possible so the next best option is over the phone. Texting is NOT a good option for conscious communication as so much is lost in that format. Email is also not a good option and best reserved for professional communication. Attempting to communicate when you are tired is not a good idea; we are fragile, more vulnerable and emotional when lacking in energy. If your mate is tired or stressed, consider waiting for another opportune time to have this deep talk. You can always ask your inner guidance, “When is the best time to have this conversation so we can achieve a positive outcome?” Also, don’t allow too much time to go by before you talk. I understand that the “best” time doesn’t always present itself on your schedule, but be mindful of your personal timing as well as your partner in communication.

How to Set Intention

Consider the How, What, Why and When. Answer each question in your mind or even better, in your journal. Once you have answered these questions, your Intent will be clear. Simply write: I intend… and fill in the blank. It is helpful to consider your desired outcome as a result of this communication. You can do the same as above by writing: My desired outcome is…

I like to combine Intention setting with prayer, asking for support for all parties involved. I focus on my heart and, if applicable, the foundation of love between me and the other person. Celestial support always helps!

Practice

Fill out the following after considering a difficult conversation you need to have.

My intention with this conversation is to… __________________________________________________________

My intention for my relationship is to… __________________________________________________________

I intend to clearly communicate the following: (Bullet point what you intend to say)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The best possible outcome for this conversation is: ___________________________________________________________

Building a Bridge

I like to ask myself, “Is this conversation building a bridge? Or building a wall?” Obviously, we want to build bridges. At times, we may be ending a relationship or setting clear boundaries. In that case, we may want to build a wall. This is essential in toxic, draining relationships in which you have exhausted communication and are clearly not on the same page with the other person.

Active Listening

Active listening is a part of all communication. Listen to the actual words, not what you think the person said. Too often, we interject our own perception of the words, rather than hearing the words themselves. Or we may be triggered by something someone says and go into our own emotional process of “not good enough” or “unlovable, unwanted”. We are no longer present for the conversation because we are too busy being offended or even defending our position. An excellent exercise to practice Active Listening is the Sacred Mirror. In the Sacred Mirror, we repeat back to our partner precisely what they said, no more, no less. We do not add our interpretation of the words. We literally repeat, word for word, what they said. Practicing this exercise can help us become aware of how often we infer what is being said rather than the actual words. To practice this with a partner, agree together that this something you want to do. The person speaking will need to go a bit slowly, one sentence at a time, so the Listener can repeat back. 

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect. We teach people how to treat us based on the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Let us lead with kindness, understanding, and compassion combined with firm, clear boundaries. This will allow us to move through our relationships with grace, ease, understanding. We use our gift of discernment to judge what people and situations are in alignment with what we say we want in the world. We simply make choices. We don’t carry guilt and shame around those who are not in alignment with our journey. What’s the point of setting boundaries if you’re just going to feel bad about it? A simple tool is to state to your friend or business associate:

I noticed_____________(Name the action or behavior)

I prefer______________(Name what you would rather experience)

Emptying the Jug

A technique I learned while in marriage counseling for my previous marriage is the Emptying the Jug technique. This is best used in more intimate relationships such as best friends, marriages, or with family members. This is not necessary in work communication unless moderated by an objective third party.  In this exercise, one person is sharing their emotions and the other listens. When the “giver” finishes speaking, the “listener” asks, “Is there more?” If there is more, the giver continues sharing. This goes on until the giver answers, “No, there is no more. I am complete.” This allows a person to completely empty everything she is feeling without being interrupted or launching into a back-and-forth argument.

Triangulation: What Is It and Why You Should Avoid It

Triangulation is when Person A-Allison, has a problem with Person B-Bailey. Instead of going directly to Bailey, Allison goes to Person C-Cathy. Allison tells Cathy all about what Bailey did, what Bailey said, how Bailey acted, but resolves nothing other than stirring up dissention within the group. Cathy may even side with Allison, lending more fuel to her self-righteous fire, but again, nothing is resolved and no progress is made. This is not Conscious Communication. This is a misuse of creative energy and is an extremely destructive force within a group or a team. Making the conscious choice to go directly to the source of the problem lays the foundation for resolution.

How Do You Address a Conflict?

1) You have to determine what is actually happening. Take the facts; not what you think  is happening. Learn to recognize when you are making up a story rather than maturely dealing with the facts.

2) Determine how much of this conflict you can resolve on your own. Was the other person rude? Disrespectful? Consistently unprofessional? Is it your responsibility to address it? The only way you’ll know that is if you are the one impacted by it or if you observe how this behavior negatively impacts others. But be careful of the story you weave. Allow people to handle their own issues. Each of us have lessons to learn, skills to master, opportunities to grow. We don’t need to borrow trouble, nor do we need to master someone else’s lesson for them.

3) Once you have discerned that you will have to address an issue with a co-worker, friend, or family member, re-read How to Set Intention. Then decide your How? What? Why? When? Fill out a practice sheet. Remember to say a prayer to keep your heart open and guide your words. Ask for spiritual support in creating resolution with this other person.

4) When at all possible, go to the person face-to-face. If you don’t work with this person, call and ask to schedule a time to meet for tea. You may text to set up the time and place to meet but DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR ISSUE OVER TEXT. This is the worst way to communicate the “sticky work”. “Sticky work” is challenging, internal growth that requires you to step outside your comfort zone and practice actually using a new tool: conscious communication.

5) Compliment, Observe, Engage. Compliment the person on something that they do that you appreciate. Example:  I like that  you are always on time to the office.

Observe: Explain the action or behavior you noticed that you didn’t appreciate or see as a contribution to the team. Example: I didn’t understand why you left me with all that paperwork.

Engage: Present an opportunity to partner or collaborate, problem-solving together. Example: Perhaps we could create a better system that would work for all of us.

Triangle of Disempowerment

Victim: This is the person who feels like s/he is being victimized by the situation. Example: I don’t know why Linda is always directing her crappy energy at me! She is toxic and makes me feel like I don’t even want to be here.

Rescuer: This is the person who wants to help everyone out of any challenging or negative situation. Example: Well, you should just avoid her at all costs. Tell the boss to not schedule when she is working.

Their intention is to be helpful, but usually they wind up giving information that fans the flames of conflict rather than helps to resolve the issue. They think they are doing the right thing but the right thing is to encourage the person who feels victimized that she needs to speak directly to the parties involved and come to resolution.

Perpetrator: This is “Linda” in the example. This person is usually considered to be “evil” or “back stabbing”, “untrustworthy” or “manipulative”. She’s the Big Bad Guy.

In the Triangle of Disempowerment, no one is able to grow. No one “wins”. In fact, any time you are thinking about “winning” and “losing” in work or family relationships, you are on the wrong track. If someone “wins” the argument, that means that someone else loses. We don’t want to create “losers”. We want a win-win solution every time. A surefire way to determine whether your heart is leading your thoughts or your ego is creating a story is if you feel that you are pitted against another person or they are pitting themselves against you. The only person you can control is yourself so make a choice not to play the game. Make a choice not to play a limiting role in that Triangle of Disempowerment. You can step right out of that role by refusing to see any of those involved as Victim or Perpetrator.

Right Size the Situation

Emotional Maturity provides us with the opportunity to Right Size any situation by bringing it into perspective. Observe your own tendency to create a story.

Example: Kate called in sick to work.

The Story: Oh my gosh, she is never here. Now I have to pick up her work load. I’m gonna have to do this all by myself and it’s gonna be so stressful. How am I going to even get through this day?

Right Size: Bring yourself to the present moment with the facts. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Kate” called in sick to work. That’s it. It doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING else. Focus on the task right in front of you, bring your full attention, your full presence to the moment and take everything as it comes. This keeps you from being distracted, angry, and overwhelmed. For help working with anger, please see Women and Anger. For help with communication within family relationships, check out Mother Daughter Madness. I’m available if you have questions about your specific challenges with relationships, love, work, and personal triggers. Kim@KimMacy.com

 

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Women and Anger

Many women don’t allow our anger. We invalidate ourselves or avoid it at all costs. Especially women following a spiritual path…somehow, we consider anger a “negative” emotion, when in fact, it is an emotion that can inspire us and motivate us. It can actually serve as fuel if we will allow ourselves to feel it  and take action that’s in alignment with our inner sense of justice. Women, we NEED our anger. We have every right to be angry. Unfortunately, we tend to either talk ourselves out of it, stuff it, invalidate it or lash out unexpectedly for no reason but it’s a delayed response to something that pissed us off.

Anger happens. It isn’t a choice. It can be a catalyst. But are we going to let the anger control us or are we going to control and direct it?

My husband says women can process anger better than men. But I don’t know that it’s being processed. It’s being shoved down. After I found out that my then 4-year-old son was molested, I lost my mind.  I screamed to the sky. I cried to my husband. I shook and I raged. But I didn’t know what to do with all of it. So I didn’t do much. I called Child Protective Services and reported it. I scheduled help for our son at the Sunflower House. I talked to my close friends, desperate to understand what had just happened. But the action I took felt like nothing compared to the intensity of my emotions. And so it burned me up. It boiled in my esophagus, felt like I drank a gallon of whiskey any time I ate so I couldn’t eat. I wanted to punch walls, punch the people who allowed this to happen. I found that I didn’t know how to feel the intensity of my rage without it burning me completely up so I misused it.

Misuse of Anger

  • Stuff it
  • Talk ourselves out of it
  • Invalidate the feeling
  • Scurry away from the feeling as quickly as we can
  • Lash out at someone close to us
  • Road rage
  • Become impatient with our kids, ourselves, our spouses
  • Eat rather than feel
  • Numb it with substances
  • Scrutinize ourselves to try and discover what’s lurking in our “shadow” that would cause us to be angry at another person and blame ourselves for our anger response. Introspection and misplaced accountability rather than simply acknowledging our anger
  • Blame ourselves somehow
  • Become apathetic
  • Convince ourselves that it doesn’t matter and nothing would change if we voiced our anger anyway
  • Allow it to fester until it becomes a physical dis-ease within ourselves
  • Fear of our own anger
  • Fear of losing control of ourselves
  • Fear that if we feel it, it will become completely unmanageable.

So what do we do with our anger? We need to take action. Let the anger galvanize us. I write in order to process my emotions. When I publish a piece for the public to read and it tells part of my story and what happened to my son and to me, I feel vindicated. I feel that I’ve told someone. I feel that at least I’m on record with the truth.

Validating my own anger, my own response rather than looking outside of myself for how I should feel and respond has been crucial to my process. How do we do this?

How to Work with Anger

  • Acknowledge what you are feeling.
  • Sit with it. Don’t try to rationalize it or talk yourself out of it.
  • It can be helpful to sit with your journal and write “I feel…”. Let it pour out.
  • Ask yourself what, if anything, you need to do. What action is the fire of anger calling for?
  • Let it inform you. Engage with it as a Messenger. What is your Anger here to tell you?
  • Find a safe space with a friend or family member to talk about what is bothering you. This person should be able to hold space for you without trying to talk you out of what you are feeling or make suggestions of what you “should” do.
  • Communicate. See Conscious Communication for great ways to prep for a conscious conversation.

We’ve got to learn how to work with our anger if we are to be empowered women. This isn’t about running around griping all the time or perceiving offenses that no one intended. But it is about working with anger as a fuel, a dynamic energy that can help us move forward on our path in way that values our emotions for the internal soul guidance they continually offer.

 

 

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