Shamanic Death

                                  Temple of the Goddess Mystery School Teachings                                 by High Priestess Kim Macy

Kim@KimMacy.com (816) 510-4391

Shamanic Death

We develop our beliefs about who we are and what we can create our world to be based on our life experiences. Going even further into our connections, much of what we absorb from our parents and family informs who we are today. The question is: How much of your current “Operating Manual for Life” comes from your family of origin and how much is your own? Now that you have told your life story and embraced the work that comes along with this life review, it is time for Shamanic Death.

 

Shamanic Death is the process of consciously choosing to let go of what no longer serves the expansion of your spirit. Rather than be bound by fears and limitations of your path, you can literally free yourself of the burdens you carry.

 

Becoming Aware

Self-awareness is a gift that offers so much peace and clarity to life. To become self-aware, you must ask yourself:

  • Why do I do the things I do?
  • Where am I still hurting?
  • Where do I hold grief and why?
  • What do I long for but never ask to receive?
  • What are my coping mechanisms?
  • What triggers my pain? Anger? Sadness?
  • Where do my triggers originate?
  • What was my original wound?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What makes me feel safe?
  • What makes me feel calm?
  • What makes me feel like I belong?
  • What makes me feel loved?
  • What do I need right now?

 

I have noticed that the more I tune in to why I am emotionally triggered, the more I am able to integrate that part of my spirit that is longing for my attention. Emotional triggers like anger, fear, feeling left out, feeling abandoned, not having enough, etc. all point to some aspect of yourself that needs acceptance and love. An example of this is my past relationship with money. I had to identify that I developed fear around money based on the relationship my mother had with money. I remember as a child watching her “DO THE BILLS”. This involved the command-”Hush! I’m doing the bills!” followed by silence in the house, stacks of envelopes and bills spread out on the dining table along with her checkbook and adding machine. My mother who normally was happy and laughing, became super serious when it was time to do the bills.

 

I lived on my own at 17 and always seemed to have money. I had money for whatever I needed. I discovered I was better with cash than I was with a checkbook so every paycheck, I went to the check-cashing place and divided my money into money orders for specific bills, cash for “living” money and cash for savings that went into an envelope in a drawer in the kitchen. This worked very well for me until I became a mom. Suddenly, we never seemed to have money. And sitting down to “do the bills” evoked that same tension in my home that I remembered from childhood. For years, I got caught up in this cycle until I went through the High Priestess Process of the Magdalene Mysteries. Our facilitator, Anyaa McAndrew, had a book called Money is Love on her recommended book list. The very title pissed me off! Money is love? Bah! Money is the root of all evil was more like it. I had developed such a tense relationship with money and I realized it all stemmed from my mother’s fear around lack of money to support herself and her children after my father died. It was time for me to release fear around money that I developed in childhood, inherited from my mother.

 

Perhaps you can feel echoes of your past in your current life. Just as we engage in the traditions we learned in childhood like turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day, we carry on some traditions that are not supportive to the life we want to live now. What traditions are you carrying that are not your own? What is the voice of your mother or father and what is your own voice? What is the voice of your wound?

 

Identifying the Voice of Your Wound

My wound is Abandonment. It stems from the loss of my father at such a young age. It re-visits me in so many ways through so many different relationships. I didn’t want to be in romantic relationships with men because ultimately, I didn’t want to be abandoned again. Even in my loving marriage, I have observed a tendency to withdraw and pull away from his love when I need it the most. It is a practice to press into my wound and FEEL IT, then respond with what it needs. For me, the wounded part of myself needs acknowledgement and acceptance, not rejection.

 

In the past, I projected my wound onto my daughter’s relationship with her father. He was not involved in her life (my choice) for the first 3 years of her life. Even after he was introduced, he was never consistent. Finally, he committed to picking her up from school every Tuesday while I worked. One day, he didn’t pick her up. She waited and waited at the park for him, in the rain, and he never came. I was absolutely furious! I blasted him verbally over the phone and cut him out of our lives. The anger ate at me and ate at me until I finally looked at www.RadicalForgiveness.com and did the “Make Room for a Miracle” worksheet. Through the expert guidance of Colin Tipping, I was able to see that the anger I felt actually stemmed from my father’s death and feeling abandoned as a little girl. Sure, I was right to be angry and to set a boundary with her father. But to cut him completely out of her life and not even be willing to listen to what had happened on his end came from my own deep reserves of inner pain.

 

The Wounded Healer

Each of us incarnate with a specific life lesson we are meant to directly experience while here on Earth. The foundation of that life lesson is found in the Chiron placement in your astrological chart and is known as the “Soul Wound”. Your soul is perfect and divine; it is only the illusion of the EarthWalk and the physical limitations of the earth body that creates the sense of the wound. Although you may have been challenged in various ways throughout your life, if you bring focused awareness to those challenges, you can see how they correlate back to this single wound. It plays out in many ways, through many relationships and scenarios and is meant to give us an opportunity to create conscious understanding of this aspect of Self that is asking for our attention.

 

Many people ask, “Why is there such suffering on the planet?” I believe it is part of our spirit-selves directly experiencing these challenges and limits in order to ultimately return to the Divine Truth that Love, Understanding and Compassion is the foundation of all life. There is suffering, yes, but to consciously suffer and to acknowledge our inner suffering brings about great cleansing of the ego and helps us return to our true Spirit nature.

 

The challenges you have been through create the wisdom you carry. It is only through your own life experience that you truly know how to tend to your spirit, how to hold space for others, how to overcome these challenges in a way that is best for your spirit.  We gather our own sacred medicine through the struggle of life, through conquering our intense trials and surviving loss, pain, and suffering. By bringing conscious awareness to our times of greatest suffering, we burn through the illusions of the ego and clearly hear the voice of our spirits. This helps us build great inner strength and develop clarity around our personal truth.

 

Living from your Heart Center

Allow your inner knowing to surface. Breathe in and out through your heart center. Bring your awareness down into your heart, visualizing an emerald green light beginning to emanate from your heart. As you breathe, see the emerald green light grow and expand. Now ask yourself, “What am I ready to release?” Receive the answers as they come bubbling up to the surface. Have a pen and paper ready to free-write words of letting go. Do not edit what your heart tells you; simply write it down to consider later. This is an opportunity to clear your heart of all that you carry. It has a valuable message for you, yes, but it need not burden you with the weight of the message. You have the strength to become conscious of your heart’s burden and free yourself from it.

 

Shamanic Death Ceremony

Ritual and Ceremony anchor our deep, intense spiritual work in the Earth realm. Its draws matter to an idea and manifests thought into form. For your Shamanic Death Ceremony, you will need to create an altar that reflects the intent of the ritual. Some women choose a black altar cloth and red candles for transformation. You may wish to include images of animal totems to assist your transformation process. Represent all the elements on the altar so that you can transform the body (Earth), the mind (Air), the spirit (Fire), and the emotions (Water). As you give Shamanic Death, you may be releasing a pattern that has been in your family for generations. If so, have a picture of your family members who remind you of this pattern. Goddesses who assist with Change and the Death Process are Oya, Kali, Cerridwen, and Hecate to name a few. You might want to have images of these powerful Goddesses on your altar as well. Ask for their help in your process. Finally, place your Death Doll, representing all that you are letting go, on the altar until time to release her into the Cauldron of Transformation.

 

Making Your Death Doll

Prior to the day of the Shamanic Death Ceremony, you will make a Death Doll. Choose 100% cotton cloth and natural thread. Simply cut out the shape of a person-you may use a gingerbread “man” cookie cutter to trace the shape onto the fabric. You will need two of the shapes so you can sew them together. On small strips of paper, write statements of release. Examples:

I am letting go of pleasing others

I am letting go of feeling not good enough

I am letting go of the shame I felt from being molested as a child

I am letting go of the guilt I feel as a mother

I give death to fear around money

I give death to emotional chaos

I give death to closing my heart to others

I give death to blocking my magic

I give death to allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated

I give death to being out of my body and always in my head

I give death to feeling disconnected to the Divine

I give death to feeling powerless

I give death to not creating time for my spirit

 

As you sew the edges of the fabric together, imagine you are stitching all your fears, all your shame, all your lack, all your guilt into the doll. Leave a small opening to stuff the doll with the slips of paper. You may also wish to stuff her with batting or additional fabric. Sew her up.

 

Shamanic Death Statement

Write a statement you will share with your circle sisters. Each woman will read her statement out loud when it is her turn to burn her Death Doll in the Cauldron of Transformation. An example of this could be: On this day, I hereby give death to distrusting my vision. I now embrace the knowing that all resources are coming together to fully express my vision and my sacred work. I let go of fear around money and a sense of lack of time to offer my vision. I give death to not feeling “good enough” to do precisely what I came to this planet to do. I give death to my inner criticism that questions the wisdom I carry. I let go of what my mother will think of her Goddess-loving Priestess daughter. I now claim my full power and trust the fullness of my vision. And so it is!” You then burn your Death Doll, releasing all that you have been carrying as life’s burden.

 

Negotiating Your Contract with the Universe

As souls about to enter the Earth School, we set up certain challenges and patterns for ourselves designed to accelerate our learning process. Once we have become conscious of our patterns and triggers, perhaps we no longer need to repeat them. Then it is time to dissolve the Universal Contract and re-negotiate what lessons, challenges and opportunities your soul would now like to experience. I was able to see how I set up feeling let down or abandoned by men and I decided I no longer needed that as part of my life experience. I dissolved that aspect of my contract. I understand how the loss of supportive men early in my life pushed me to step into my own power and become my own authority figure. Fantastic! But now I wanted to experience what life could be like with a loving, supportive man by my side. You may want to include what you would like to dissolve in your original life contract in your Shamanic Death Statement.

 

Resistance and Fear

Do not be surprised if you find yourself regressing into old patterns and old coping mechanisms while going through the process of Shamanic Death. This is a normal and natural part of the process. As we clear artificial encodements and false messages, our ego is triggered into fierce protection mode. Our ego is that part of us that helps us function in the world and maintain whatever persona we have created to be accepted in society. The Shamanic Death process essentially rips apart the Operation Manual the ego created in order to manage Life. When we take that manual and deem it no longer effective, the ego may balk and use its favorite tool: Fear. The ego may whisper that it is not safe to do this work. It may make the process about someone else, even targeting others in your support circle. It may focus on criticism of the facilitator or even the process itself. Be aware of the messages you receive during this time, both the ones you deem positive and negative. Do what you can to continually turn the focus to YOU…your coping mechanisms, your triggers, your wound, your compensations for the wounded parts of self. You can support yourself through this process by tending to your Root Chakra. The Root Chakra color is red. The message of the Root Chakra is Foundation, the Fight or Flight Response, feeling safe, having physical needs met, connection with your body, connection with Mother Earth and connection with your “I Am” presence. Following are Ways You Can Support Your Root Chakra through Shamanic Death:

  • Wear red. Red panties, red pants, skirts, shirts, etc.
  • Use Rose Oil to annoint your Root Chakra.
  • Carry a Root Chakra stone-Hematite, Red Jasper, Garnet, Red Carnelian and Black Tourmaline.
  • Create a Root Chakra Altar with red candles, red roses, a picture of your empowered self, elements of earth and the Root Chakra stones.
  • Place one hand on the base of your spine, located at your tailbone and the other on your pubic bone. Say, “Even though I feel some fear and resistance, I completely and totally love and accept myself.” Breathe that truth into your body. You may also like to rub your heart chakra in a clockwise motion and repeat the statement.  

 

Ritual

As always, clear yourself and the circle by smudging or Holy Water. Set the Intention of the ceremony. Call the Directions. Light the candles on the altar. You will probably want to have the ritual fire outside. Be sure to take your Death Doll and Shamanic Death Statement with you. Each woman will step forward and proclaim what she is releasing, then burn the Death Doll in the cauldron. It would be lovely to have a heartbeat drum for this clearing. After every woman has given Shamanic Death, celebrate with dancing, laughter and music! Release the Directions. Open the circle.

 

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The Problem with Manifesting Your Reality

In 2004, a wonderful, powerful documentary titled “What the Bleep Do We Know?” emerged on the scene, combining quantum physics and spirituality while introducing the concept many mystics have always believed: Our Thoughts Create Our Reality. The film beautifully illustrated how the brain operates and how what we focus on tends to gather matter to it and manifest into physical reality. The New Age movement took off with this information and the public was hungry for more. The book, The Secret, came out in 2006, expanding on the teachings of Esther Hicks and channeled information from an energy known as Abraham. It promoted Ask, Believe, and Receive, encouraging readers to focus on the positive through a state of gratitude.

Here’s the problem: people are avoiding thoughts they view as negative in an attempt to stay in “love and light”, but it’s not authentic. Even worse, people are judging others if they have a “bad experience” and determining that they must have done something to draw it to themselves, therefore, they have failed in “thinking positively enough” and are somehow being punished by the Universe.

I call bullshit.

I’ve heard from so many people who try to catch themselves being “negative” and quickly shift into gratitude without acknowledging the actual hurt, pain, grief, despair, or disappointment they are feeling. We need to feel our feelings. Our feelings are our emotional guidance system that tell us if something is out of alignment for us. If we ignore them or gloss over them, we are missing important clues about our experience. This is called spiritual bypassing.

Spiritual Bypassing is “a term coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984 and is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.” (Robert Augustus Masters, PhD Spiritual Bypassing-When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters) Described as a “very persistent shadow of spirituality”, it is truly a numbing agent used to avoid pain or so-called negative feelings and emotions. Many who subscribe to an Attitude of Gratitude believe that they are somehow elevated in consciousness or more spiritual than others because they only think positive thoughts. This shows complete immaturity, a lack of true, grounded-in-the-body spiritual growth, and a tendency toward delusion.

This delusion is what brings us to our current state of reality. There were millions of us who imagined and totally believed in a very different reality than Trump being in office. I honestly thought I woke up in the wrong dimension on November 8, 2016. But all the positive thinking in the world couldn’t stop that train of horror. Working within the paradigms of the Earth realm requires physical action in alignment with our internal guidance. Now that we are faced with this version of reality, many spiritual people are avoiding the news, avoiding what is happening in our country because we are not equipped to deal with the “negative”.

I’ve been there. I became so sensitive, so raw, that I couldn’t handle the constant barrage of news. It seemed that each new terrible thing happening in the world affirmed my despair and reinforced the darkness of the world. It felt so heavy and insurmountable. I couldn’t avoid my own pain, my own broken heart. I made it through because the people in my life were able to hold space for my pain. They didn’t try to talk me out of it or invalidate my feelings or encourage me to “think positively”. I went deeper into my shadow. What was in there? What was it trying to tell me about myself? I was shown all the ways I withhold love from myself. I faced fears I didn’t even know I had. I went on a journey that was so internal, I couldn’t share the depth of the darkness with anyone.

I believe the purpose of the shadow time helped me clear obstacles to manifesting that I didn’t know were there. I believe we can manifest but we have to do it from a place of wholeness, not avoidance.

So how do we do it? We walk consciously in the world, attempting to create experiences we truly desire while embracing the magic of the Universe as we turn toward our personal pain, explore what hides in our shadow, and learn from challenging experiences. We’ve got to develop tools to deal with our pain, to learn from our pain, to value the negative as a powerful teacher. Instead of turning away from our fears, we must develop the courage to face them and learn from them. But we are not meant to do this alone. Having a supportive community of authentic people who are also embracing all that this life experience has to offer makes it much easier to head into our own fire.

We can expand beyond the limited confines of positive and negative and deem all experiences as valuable, meaningful, and divine. The Light and the dark. This allows us true freedom and authentic power.

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Conscious Communication

What is Conscious Communication? As we discuss relationships, how we relate to our family, friends, partners and co-workers, the first thing that comes up is COMMUNICATION. To communicate is to share ideas, thoughts, and feelings with another. Conscious communication is to be aware of how, what, and why you are communicating with another prior to having the conversation. It is absolutely necessary to stay conscious when we have to have those tough conversations that come up in every relationship, every family, every deep friendship, and every business.

How? Consider how you would like to communicate. Would you like to remain neutral? Are you passionate about your idea or vision? Are you emotionally connected to what you are saying? Do you want to be clear? Thinking about how we want to communicate can help us bring clarity to every interaction.

What? What exactly are we trying to say? Think about the end result of the conversation. What is the intention? Not knowing precisely what our intention is as we begin a challenging conversation can easily result in conflict. I like to answer it this way: “I will feel complete with the conversation as long as I am able to clearly convey __________.” It may be expressing how I feel or sharing my passion for a specific vision and asking for others to “buy in”. Regardless, setting Intent for your communication helps it become conscious.

Why? Why am I having this conversation? This is tied into the What? but different in that it answers the purpose of the communication whereas the What? dictates exactly what you want to say. The Why? answers why you want to say it.

When? Timing is everything. It is best to have challenging conversations face to face as this supports our connection with one another. But it’s not always possible so the next best option is over the phone. Texting is NOT a good option for conscious communication as so much is lost in that format. Email is also not a good option and best reserved for professional communication. Attempting to communicate when you are tired is not a good idea; we are fragile, more vulnerable and emotional when lacking in energy. If your mate is tired or stressed, consider waiting for another opportune time to have this deep talk. You can always ask your inner guidance, “When is the best time to have this conversation so we can achieve a positive outcome?” Also, don’t allow too much time to go by before you talk. I understand that the “best” time doesn’t always present itself on your schedule, but be mindful of your personal timing as well as your partner in communication.

How to Set Intention

Consider the How, What, Why and When. Answer each question in your mind or even better, in your journal. Once you have answered these questions, your Intent will be clear. Simply write: I intend… and fill in the blank. It is helpful to consider your desired outcome as a result of this communication. You can do the same as above by writing: My desired outcome is…

I like to combine Intention setting with prayer, asking for support for all parties involved. I focus on my heart and, if applicable, the foundation of love between me and the other person. Celestial support always helps!

Practice

Fill out the following after considering a difficult conversation you need to have.

My intention with this conversation is to… __________________________________________________________

My intention for my relationship is to… __________________________________________________________

I intend to clearly communicate the following: (Bullet point what you intend to say)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The best possible outcome for this conversation is: ___________________________________________________________

Building a Bridge

I like to ask myself, “Is this conversation building a bridge? Or building a wall?” Obviously, we want to build bridges. At times, we may be ending a relationship or setting clear boundaries. In that case, we may want to build a wall. This is essential in toxic, draining relationships in which you have exhausted communication and are clearly not on the same page with the other person.

Active Listening

Active listening is a part of all communication. Listen to the actual words, not what you think the person said. Too often, we interject our own perception of the words, rather than hearing the words themselves. Or we may be triggered by something someone says and go into our own emotional process of “not good enough” or “unlovable, unwanted”. We are no longer present for the conversation because we are too busy being offended or even defending our position. An excellent exercise to practice Active Listening is the Sacred Mirror. In the Sacred Mirror, we repeat back to our partner precisely what they said, no more, no less. We do not add our interpretation of the words. We literally repeat, word for word, what they said. Practicing this exercise can help us become aware of how often we infer what is being said rather than the actual words. To practice this with a partner, agree together that this something you want to do. The person speaking will need to go a bit slowly, one sentence at a time, so the Listener can repeat back. 

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect. We teach people how to treat us based on the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Let us lead with kindness, understanding, and compassion combined with firm, clear boundaries. This will allow us to move through our relationships with grace, ease, understanding. We use our gift of discernment to judge what people and situations are in alignment with what we say we want in the world. We simply make choices. We don’t carry guilt and shame around those who are not in alignment with our journey. What’s the point of setting boundaries if you’re just going to feel bad about it? A simple tool is to state to your friend or business associate:

I noticed_____________(Name the action or behavior)

I prefer______________(Name what you would rather experience)

Emptying the Jug

A technique I learned while in marriage counseling for my previous marriage is the Emptying the Jug technique. This is best used in more intimate relationships such as best friends, marriages, or with family members. This is not necessary in work communication unless moderated by an objective third party.  In this exercise, one person is sharing their emotions and the other listens. When the “giver” finishes speaking, the “listener” asks, “Is there more?” If there is more, the giver continues sharing. This goes on until the giver answers, “No, there is no more. I am complete.” This allows a person to completely empty everything she is feeling without being interrupted or launching into a back-and-forth argument.

Triangulation: What Is It and Why You Should Avoid It

Triangulation is when Person A-Allison, has a problem with Person B-Bailey. Instead of going directly to Bailey, Allison goes to Person C-Cathy. Allison tells Cathy all about what Bailey did, what Bailey said, how Bailey acted, but resolves nothing other than stirring up dissention within the group. Cathy may even side with Allison, lending more fuel to her self-righteous fire, but again, nothing is resolved and no progress is made. This is not Conscious Communication. This is a misuse of creative energy and is an extremely destructive force within a group or a team. Making the conscious choice to go directly to the source of the problem lays the foundation for resolution.

How Do You Address a Conflict?

1) You have to determine what is actually happening. Take the facts; not what you think  is happening. Learn to recognize when you are making up a story rather than maturely dealing with the facts.

2) Determine how much of this conflict you can resolve on your own. Was the other person rude? Disrespectful? Consistently unprofessional? Is it your responsibility to address it? The only way you’ll know that is if you are the one impacted by it or if you observe how this behavior negatively impacts others. But be careful of the story you weave. Allow people to handle their own issues. Each of us have lessons to learn, skills to master, opportunities to grow. We don’t need to borrow trouble, nor do we need to master someone else’s lesson for them.

3) Once you have discerned that you will have to address an issue with a co-worker, friend, or family member, re-read How to Set Intention. Then decide your How? What? Why? When? Fill out a practice sheet. Remember to say a prayer to keep your heart open and guide your words. Ask for spiritual support in creating resolution with this other person.

4) When at all possible, go to the person face-to-face. If you don’t work with this person, call and ask to schedule a time to meet for tea. You may text to set up the time and place to meet but DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR ISSUE OVER TEXT. This is the worst way to communicate the “sticky work”. “Sticky work” is challenging, internal growth that requires you to step outside your comfort zone and practice actually using a new tool: conscious communication.

5) Compliment, Observe, Engage. Compliment the person on something that they do that you appreciate. Example:  I like that  you are always on time to the office.

Observe: Explain the action or behavior you noticed that you didn’t appreciate or see as a contribution to the team. Example: I didn’t understand why you left me with all that paperwork.

Engage: Present an opportunity to partner or collaborate, problem-solving together. Example: Perhaps we could create a better system that would work for all of us.

Triangle of Disempowerment

Victim: This is the person who feels like s/he is being victimized by the situation. Example: I don’t know why Linda is always directing her crappy energy at me! She is toxic and makes me feel like I don’t even want to be here.

Rescuer: This is the person who wants to help everyone out of any challenging or negative situation. Example: Well, you should just avoid her at all costs. Tell the boss to not schedule when she is working.

Their intention is to be helpful, but usually they wind up giving information that fans the flames of conflict rather than helps to resolve the issue. They think they are doing the right thing but the right thing is to encourage the person who feels victimized that she needs to speak directly to the parties involved and come to resolution.

Perpetrator: This is “Linda” in the example. This person is usually considered to be “evil” or “back stabbing”, “untrustworthy” or “manipulative”. She’s the Big Bad Guy.

In the Triangle of Disempowerment, no one is able to grow. No one “wins”. In fact, any time you are thinking about “winning” and “losing” in work or family relationships, you are on the wrong track. If someone “wins” the argument, that means that someone else loses. We don’t want to create “losers”. We want a win-win solution every time. A surefire way to determine whether your heart is leading your thoughts or your ego is creating a story is if you feel that you are pitted against another person or they are pitting themselves against you. The only person you can control is yourself so make a choice not to play the game. Make a choice not to play a limiting role in that Triangle of Disempowerment. You can step right out of that role by refusing to see any of those involved as Victim or Perpetrator.

Right Size the Situation

Emotional Maturity provides us with the opportunity to Right Size any situation by bringing it into perspective. Observe your own tendency to create a story.

Example: Kate called in sick to work.

The Story: Oh my gosh, she is never here. Now I have to pick up her work load. I’m gonna have to do this all by myself and it’s gonna be so stressful. How am I going to even get through this day?

Right Size: Bring yourself to the present moment with the facts. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Kate” called in sick to work. That’s it. It doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING else. Focus on the task right in front of you, bring your full attention, your full presence to the moment and take everything as it comes. This keeps you from being distracted, angry, and overwhelmed. For help working with anger, please see Women and Anger. For help with communication within family relationships, check out Mother Daughter Madness. I’m available if you have questions about your specific challenges with relationships, love, work, and personal triggers. Kim@KimMacy.com

 

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Women and Anger

Many women don’t allow our anger. We invalidate ourselves or avoid it at all costs. Especially women following a spiritual path…somehow, we consider anger a “negative” emotion, when in fact, it is an emotion that can inspire us and motivate us. It can actually serve as fuel if we will allow ourselves to feel it  and take action that’s in alignment with our inner sense of justice. Women, we NEED our anger. We have every right to be angry. Unfortunately, we tend to either talk ourselves out of it, stuff it, invalidate it or lash out unexpectedly for no reason but it’s a delayed response to something that pissed us off.

Anger happens. It isn’t a choice. It can be a catalyst. But are we going to let the anger control us or are we going to control and direct it?

My husband says women can process anger better than men. But I don’t know that it’s being processed. It’s being shoved down. After I found out that my then 4-year-old son was molested, I lost my mind.  I screamed to the sky. I cried to my husband. I shook and I raged. But I didn’t know what to do with all of it. So I didn’t do much. I called Child Protective Services and reported it. I scheduled help for our son at the Sunflower House. I talked to my close friends, desperate to understand what had just happened. But the action I took felt like nothing compared to the intensity of my emotions. And so it burned me up. It boiled in my esophagus, felt like I drank a gallon of whiskey any time I ate so I couldn’t eat. I wanted to punch walls, punch the people who allowed this to happen. I found that I didn’t know how to feel the intensity of my rage without it burning me completely up so I misused it.

Misuse of Anger

  • Stuff it
  • Talk ourselves out of it
  • Invalidate the feeling
  • Scurry away from the feeling as quickly as we can
  • Lash out at someone close to us
  • Road rage
  • Become impatient with our kids, ourselves, our spouses
  • Eat rather than feel
  • Numb it with substances
  • Scrutinize ourselves to try and discover what’s lurking in our “shadow” that would cause us to be angry at another person and blame ourselves for our anger response. Introspection and misplaced accountability rather than simply acknowledging our anger
  • Blame ourselves somehow
  • Become apathetic
  • Convince ourselves that it doesn’t matter and nothing would change if we voiced our anger anyway
  • Allow it to fester until it becomes a physical dis-ease within ourselves
  • Fear of our own anger
  • Fear of losing control of ourselves
  • Fear that if we feel it, it will become completely unmanageable.

So what do we do with our anger? We need to take action. Let the anger galvanize us. I write in order to process my emotions. When I publish a piece for the public to read and it tells part of my story and what happened to my son and to me, I feel vindicated. I feel that I’ve told someone. I feel that at least I’m on record with the truth.

Validating my own anger, my own response rather than looking outside of myself for how I should feel and respond has been crucial to my process. How do we do this?

How to Work with Anger

  • Acknowledge what you are feeling.
  • Sit with it. Don’t try to rationalize it or talk yourself out of it.
  • It can be helpful to sit with your journal and write “I feel…”. Let it pour out.
  • Ask yourself what, if anything, you need to do. What action is the fire of anger calling for?
  • Let it inform you. Engage with it as a Messenger. What is your Anger here to tell you?
  • Find a safe space with a friend or family member to talk about what is bothering you. This person should be able to hold space for you without trying to talk you out of what you are feeling or make suggestions of what you “should” do.
  • Communicate. See Conscious Communication for great ways to prep for a conscious conversation.

We’ve got to learn how to work with our anger if we are to be empowered women. This isn’t about running around griping all the time or perceiving offenses that no one intended. But it is about working with anger as a fuel, a dynamic energy that can help us move forward on our path in way that values our emotions for the internal soul guidance they continually offer.

 

 

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Full Moon in Aquarius

Happy Full Moon in Aquarius! There’s a partial lunar eclipse happening as I write this. Eclipses are acceleration points for the cosmic consciousness and the Aquarian energy is the archetype of the Visionary dedicated to uplifting the consciousness of humanity. As a soul with Aquarius Rising and the North Node also in Aquarius, I am the Visionary of the Visionaries, incarnated on Earth to serve as spiritual midwife to the people of the New Earth.

What is the Vision I am activating?

I call forth the collaborative team of Light Workers, Starseeds, visionary women, men, and children to come together in helping me build a Temple of the Goddess in the Heartland-Kansas City by 2022. I call forth the financial abundance, resources, the building, the land, the design, the permits, the lovers, artists, dancers, and musicians necessary to pull this Vision from the ethers into physical manifestation here in Earth. I see myself working with my creative team to do the work, step by step, to create this beautiful sacred space for all people seeking Spiritual Connection and Soul Truth to gather together in harmony on a regular basis as we affirm our birthright as co-creators with Divine.

The Temple of the Goddess is a place of healing, wholeness, and Holiness. It is a place of Ecstatic Dance and music. There is a Goddess Choir. There are Sunday morning services. There is a place for the children and a Director of Children’s Services who has her own team designed to serve the children.

We honor Rites of Passage from conception to transition through BlessingWay Ceremonies, Baptism in the Name of the Mother and the Father, Honoring Mother-Father-Children-Grandmother-Grandfather-Family, First Moon Ceremony for girls and Solar Initiation for our boys, Completion Ceremony (ages 9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, 81 and beyond), Conscious Death Ceremony, Weddings, Unions, and Commitment Ceremonies whether with a partner or with Self, Shamanic Death ceremony when Life encourages us to let go and let die so something new can be born, Sacred Re-Birth Ceremony, Cleansing and Claiming Ceremony, Croning Ceremony for our Wise Women and Men, and always, Healing Ceremony for whatever we need for our precious spirits as we journey through our EarthWalk incarnation.

There are rooms for healing: herbal consultation, energy medicine, shamanic journey, sacred sexual healing, clearing the energy field, spiritual counseling, chiropractic, acupuncture, and massage. There are a couple of Sleep Rooms which are dark and cozy, comforting and nurturing so people can rest after an intense session or relaxing massage. There is a Library and a Wise Woman Librarian there to assist you in finding the resources you need to support you. There is a kitchen where we not only provide delicious healing teas and foods for our congregation, we also serve our hungry public by putting together food donation so no child, no woman, no man goes hungry. The Goddess will provide. There is a Meditation Garden with water flowing and plants, flowers, and medicine growing. There is a yoga-dance-movement studio for our sacred vessels to move and heal. There is a Glitter Room with art supplies and constant creation! There is always music.

There are Priestesses. Women fully connected to their Feminine Power are present to serve the people in every kind of way. Different Priestesses practicing their field of expertise offering support, guidance, resources, and connections. We are the hub for the Priestess Resource Network and able to dispatch Priestesses all over Kansas City in times of need. New mama? We send a Priestess. Family member dying? We send a Priestess. Super sick and alone? We send a Priestess. Received a scary medical diagnosis? We send a Priestess. Child with night terrors? We send a Priestess. Ghost in the house? We send a Priestess.

Mama Kim’s School of Magic and Medicine is headquartered at the Temple. There are always classes available so we can train the next generation of Priestesses and Shamans. What we don’t offer in house, we offer through our extensive network of holistic health clinics, reliable professionals in the fields of health, healing, finance, education, conscious businesses, environmental conscious organizations, non-profit resources-you name it, we know a trustworthy professional who can help you.

You drive by an enormous sculpture of the Goddess and She speaks to your heart immediately. You park your car and walk up to the Temple doors, path blooming with flowers and plants. You open the heavy, exquisitely carved wooden door laden with sacred symbols and enter. The candles are lit, the music is playing, the scent is comforting, luscious, and somehow familiar. A Priestess radiating pure love welcomes you and you feel safe and seen and nurtured. Welcome Home.

And so it is. Monday, August 7, 2017 with the Moon in Aquarius and the Sun in Leo. The Sun is linked with the Moon. The Moon is harmonizing with Jupiter, the planet of Opportunity and Expansion. The Moon is linked with Mars, essence of the Divine Masculine and the planet of Focus, Will, and Action. The Moon is cooperating with Saturn, the planet of Structure, Form, Foundation. Amamma! Blessed Be!

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Spiritual Counselor

Priestess Kim Macy, Spiritual Counselor

8600 W. 95th Street Suite 105

Overland Park, Kansas 66212

(816) 510-4391

Kim@KimMacy.com

1991-1992 Trained to Volunteer on Teen Suicide Hotline by the Texas Department for Mental Health in San Angelo, Texas

1992-1994 Majored in Fine Arts at Angelo State University, San Angelo, focused on Theatre Arts

1994-1997 Austin, Texas Personal Psychedelic Journey Work

1997-1999 Attended University of Missouri Kansas City to complete Bachelor of Arts

April 1999 Became a Mother to my daughter

1999-2003 Herbal Apprenticeship with Wise Woman Ways (now PrairieWise Herbal School with Kahla Wheeler (now Kahla Wheeler Rowan) www.PrairieWise.com

October 1999 Certified as a Doula with the Academy of Certified Birth Educators in Shawnee, Kansas. Partnered with the Certified Nurse Midwives of St. Luke’s Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri led by Ginger Breedlove PhD

October 1999-2003 Marketing and Sales Director for the Kansas City Wellness Magazine

October 1999-Present Served as a Labor Support Professional, Breastfeeding Support Specialist, Natural Childbirth Advocate

August 2000 Participated in the Lakota Sundance Ceremony with Chief Phil CrazyBull on the Pine Ridge Reservation at Crow Dog’s Paradise in South Dakota.

October 2000 Green Witch Intensive with Susun Weed, author of Healing Wise, The Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Years, Breast Cancer? Breast Health! And Down There www.SusunWeed.com (additional intensives with Susun at the Sunflower Healing Fest 2003, Wild Wise Woman Weekend 2016)

September 2001-June 2002 Co-Editor, Co-Publisher of The Red Fruit: A Woman’s Musepaper. Distributed 35,000 copies monthly throughout Kansas City and Lawrence, KS

2001 Completed Training as a Real Women Project Facilitator www.RealWomenProject.org

2001-2016 Served the Gaea Goddess Gathering Community as Priestess, Workshop Facilitator, Temple Creatrix, Ritual Priestess, and Sacred Songstress at the annual festival, serving over 200+ annually.

2001-2004 Studied with Sicagu Lakota medicine man, Sundance Chief, Yuwipi man & Heyoka Dreamer Phil CrazyBull. Learned the Sacred Songs for Ceremony, Pipe Ceremony, Ancestor Healing Altar, Inipi Ceremony, and experienced the Yuwipi Ceremony

2002-2008 Awakening the Millennium Priestess Process with Anyaa McAndrew

Emerged as Priestess in 2003

Became an Ordained Madonna Minister October 2003 www.madonnaministryworld.org

The Magdalene Mysteries: A High Priestess Process  with Anyaa McAndrew in 2004

Emerged as High Priestess of the Magdalene in 2004

Awakening the Sacred Sexual Priestess  with Anyaa McAndrew in 2004

Emerged as Sacred Sexual Priestess in 2004

Assisted Anyaa McAndrew in Costa Rica for the Sacred Sexual Priestess Process Intensive 2006-2008 www.GoddessOnTheLoose.com

2003-2008 Shamanic Breathwork Journey Work with Linda StarWolf of the Venus Rising Institute of Shamanic Healing Arts www.ShamanicBreathwork.org

2004-2007 Initiated in a Kemetic Spiritual Tradition with the Queen Mother, Priestess of Oya and Esu in the Yoruba Tradition  

2006-Present Intuitive Tarot Card Reader and Spiritual Guide at the biannual Oracles of Aquarius Psychic Fair, Kansas City, Missouri

2007-Present Facilitator of Women’s Circles and Workshops at Unity Temple on the Plaza, Kansas City, Missouri (in addition to many Kansas City metro area locations)

2007 Established the Temple of the Goddess Mystery School www.KimMacy.com

2007-Present High Priestess Facilitator of the Temple of the Goddess Mystery School

2008 Faith Walk Contributing Writer in the Kansas City Star Newspaper

2010 Became a Mother to my Son

2014 Completed Eden Energy Medicine 101 with Christine Rollert www.EnergyIstheMedicine.com

May 2017 Committed to Building the Temple of the Goddess in Kansas City

I created this resume for potential clients, partners, donors, and Mystery School students to have access to detailed information about my lineage, my teachers, mentors, and extensive training I have completed over the last 25 years. I have always been a counselor; assisting suicidal classmates who would secretly call me desperate for help in junior high eventually serving on a Teen Suicide Hotline in high school. Although I went to university to become a Theatre Arts teacher, God/Goddess had another plan for my life. Passionate about natural health and wellness, I sought herbal remedies for common ailments beginning in 1994 and have been gathering information and practicing herbalism ever since. I moved from Texas to Kansas City in September of 1997, intent on finishing my bachelor’s degree. After the birth of my daughter in 1999,  I helped establish the Kansas City Wellness Magazine and went on to co-publish The Red Fruit: A Woman’s Musepaper to serve the holistic health and spiritual wellness community with a focus on the Divine Feminine within us all. 

My life changed in 2000 when I met Kahla Wheeler, Susun Weed, and Chief Phil CrazyBull. The birth of my daughter was an absolute activation and the catalyst for me to remember why I incarnated here on Planet Earth. I was an apprentice, a student, an initiate for seven years and would have been content to quietly continue learning forever without ever stepping up to embody the Spiritual Guide I am in this lifetime and in many other lifetimes. When I was laid off from my job as City Marketing Director for Wild Oats on February 2, 2007, I knew it was time.

February 2nd is a Solar Holy Day in the Goddess Tradition and in earth-honoring spiritual traditions. Known as Imbolc or Candlemas, it is the Promise of the Return of the Light and signals an Initiation Cycle beginning. I was terrified but I knew what I was called to do. And I’ve been doing it ever since.

I work best with people who are already on a spiritual path, committed to their own Awakening, who need deep soul guidance they can intuitively trust and feel resonating in their energetic field. I work with mental and physical health professionals to address the soul root of many of the issues that manifest as anxiety, depression, common ailments, and illness. 

For more information about me, please visit www.KimMacy.com There you will find description of services as well as a link to my blog which outlines my spiritual beliefs and perspective. For more information about my teachers and mentors, please visit the websites provided. 

 

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I Didn’t Know

I didn’t know it was going to be like this…

I didn’t know that we were going to do this

I didn’t know that we weren’t going to do that

I didn’t know that it was going to be this deep, this painful, this illuminating, this exhilarating

I didn’t know that it was going to force me to look…

At myself

At my shadow

At my power

At my powerlessness

I didn’t know that it was going to kick up deep-seeded feelings of low self worth

I didn’t know I was going to feel stupid, ill-equipped, dumb, like a child

I didn’t know that it was going to hurt

I didn’t know if I could make it

I didn’t know if I could handle it

I didn’t even know if I wanted to.

But I do.

I want to know.

What is this Mystery that is me, that is the Earth, that is Power, that is Source, that is Container, that is Shadow, that is Following the Thread, that is the Trigger, that is the Gold, that is the Wound, that is the Medicine, that is the Wisdom?

My Wisdom.

My personal Medicine, the salve that heals my own wounds and may in turn help so many others.

I WANT TO KNOW.

I want to do the deep dive.

I want to plumb the depths of my soul in order to recover all the pieces of myself.

I embrace my wholeness, my Holiness, embrace the sacred in all things, including this piece and that trigger and this shadow.

For you are all my teachers.

And I honor you.

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