Any time we embark on a spiritual journey with a personal commitment to discover our soul truth, our ego FREAKS OUT! The ego’s job is to keep you in a comfort zone, actively using all your unconscious and subconscious coping mechanisms. The ego takes its job very seriously-it is the source of your Identity here on Planet Earth. The trick is to allow the ego to serve the heart and soul. That is how to keep it in right alignment.
The moment you make your Commitment, your “stuff” may start to get kicked up. As the facilitator of the Temple of the Goddess Mystery School, I continually refine and refine my own life and experience to release trappings of the fear-mind. I am able to work through the layers of my own story, aligning myself with my personal truth at deeper levels of my subconscious and conscious mind. It doesn’t make the work any less work! But the awareness of what I gain personally as I claim and express my soul truth unencumbered by a self-imposed cage of limitation serves as a comforting guide to my own process.
When a caterpillar feels it is time, she begins to process of weaving her chrysalis around her. She spins her cocoon and settles in for metamorphosis. She does not ask how long it will take, nor does she know what she will encounter. She exists in the cocooned state. She begins to generate her butterfly self through imaginal cells. I love it! These imaginal cells vibrate at a different frequency than the caterpillar cells and so, unfamiliar with this new vibration, the caterpillar’s immune system perceives them as the enemy and attacks them, successfully fighting them off. Or so she thinks…enough of the butterfly cells survive the attack and link together to mount another attack. As Norie Huddle writes in her book Butterfly:
“These new imaginal cells continue to appear. More and more of them! Pretty soon, the caterpillar’s immune system cannot destroy them fast enough. And then an amazing thing happens! The little tiny lonely imaginal cells start to clump together, into friendly little groups. They all resonate together at the same frequency, passing information from one to another. The clumps of imaginal cells start to cluster together!… A long string of clumping and clustering imaginal cells, all resonating at the same frequency, all passing information from one to another there inside the chrysalis.”
The battle between the caterpillar self (the old form) and the butterfly self (the new form) results in the caterpillar dissolving into total mush. The butterfly actually feeds on the caterpillar mush until the strength of this new vibration overtakes the old and the butterfly fully forms. The chrysalis, described as “an enclosing shell that limits the caterpillar’s freedom for the duration of the transformation” (Anodea Judith, Waking the Global Heart) serves its purpose as Ground Zero of her metamorphosis. Her struggle is not yet complete, however, for now, she must break out of the comfort of her cocoon. And so it is with the Temple of the Mystery School container. You are in the cocoon. Your Feminine Power and personal truth are contained in your own imaginal cells. Your limiting beliefs, perceptions of lack and self-worth, deepest inner fears, and life-long coping mechanisms are held within your caterpillar self. The inner battle you experience is simply due to the introduction of the new vibration. You will battle yourself. You will resist the transformation. But at some point, your old belief systems become the food that feeds your new perspective as your imaginal cells strengthen and devour your old way of thinking. Your butterfly self is ready to emerge.
It is said that if you help the butterfly out of her cocoon, she will die. The struggle of Emergence is part of the process, for it forces air into her wet wings so that she is able to fly. “The pushing forces enzymes from the body to wing tips…strengthening the wing muscles, and reducing body weight allowing it to fly. This process started with struggle and ended with the butterfly flying the moment it came out of the cocoon.” (Nutrition for Mental Health).
My best advice during this transformational time is to Be Present to your own self, loving and nurturing yourself throughout the struggle. I encourage you not to resist but to surrender to it while trusting yourself to emerge as the Beautiful Butterfly! With love and blessings within your chrysalis…Kim.