I didn’t know it was going to be like this…
I didn’t know that we were going to do this
I didn’t know that we weren’t going to do that
I didn’t know that it was going to be this deep, this painful, this illuminating, this exhilarating
I didn’t know that it was going to force me to look…
At my shadow
At my power
At my powerlessness
I didn’t know that it was going to kick up deep-seeded feelings of low self worth
I didn’t know I was going to feel stupid, ill-equipped, dumb, like a child
I didn’t know that it was going to hurt
I didn’t know if I could make it
I didn’t know if I could handle it
I didn’t even know if I wanted to.
But I do.
I want to know.
What is this Mystery that is me, that is the Earth, that is Power, that is Source, that is Container, that is Shadow, that is Following the Thread, that is the Trigger, that is the Gold, that is the Wound, that is the Medicine, that is the Wisdom?
My personal Medicine, the salve that heals my own wounds and may in turn help so many others.
I WANT TO KNOW.
I want to do the deep dive.
I want to plumb the depths of my soul in order to recover all the pieces of myself.
I embrace my wholeness, my Holiness, embrace the sacred in all things, including this piece and that trigger and this shadow.
For you are all my teachers.
And I honor you.